By Xiaohui
“Alas, Qiqi, hurry up! You’ll be late for school!”
“Mingming, get up now and wash your face.”
…………
Xinyue was urging the children over and over again.
“Dai Yuanyuan, are you still in bed now? Rise to wash up! Qiqi, little ancestor, stop playing! If you don’t get up now, you’ll miss the school bus. Grandma doesn’t want to take you to school in such a cold day. Be good and get up to take breakfast.” Xinyue’s mother-in-law shouted, too.
For Xinyue and her mother-in-law, morning was the busiest time of their day. They had to make the breakfast and wake the sleepyheads up to take breakfast and to go to school. These scenes repeated every day.
Soon, everybody got up and the room suddenly became crowded. One wanted to brush his teeth; the second one wanted to use the toilet; the third one was searching for her shoes; the forth one was searching for her clothes; … Finally, they were all set to take breakfast, but they were complaining instead of eating quietly.
“Oh, no! It’s mantou (steamed bun) again. I want youtiao (deep-fried dough stick) and soybean milk!” Dai Yuanyuan, Xinyue’s sister-in-law, said unpleasantly while packing her clothes.
“But I’m too busy to buy youtiao and soybean milk in the morning.” Xinyue replied unhappily.
“Yeah! If you want youtiao and soybean milk, get up early tomorrow morning to buy them yourself. Don’t be so sleepy and fussy.” Said Dai Mengmeng, Dai Yuanyuan’s elder sister.
“I can’t sleep well at night because I have to take care of the two children. Yet you still want me to get up early. I can’t. Don’t blame me. I’m not that serious about the breakfast.” Said Dai Yuanyuan in an injured voice.
“Auntie, my mom is a big sleepyhead!” Qiqi grinned at Xinyue while eating and made a face at Dai Yuanyuan.
Hearing her daughter’s words, Dai Yuanyuan pretended to be angry, much to the amusement of others.
After a while, everybody was done with breakfast and went to their own things, leaving Xinyue and her mother-in-law at the table.
“Xinyue, let me clean the table. You have been helping me with the breakfast since early in the morning. Just go back to your room and take a rest. Yuanyuan is just like a childish girl. Don’t lower yourself to her level.” The mother-in-law said to Xinyue apologetically.
“Mom, you’ve thought too much. I’m OK. We are a family, so it should be better to have tolerance and patience.” Xinyue said with a smile. In fact, she said that to her mother-in-law as well as herself, and it was also what she hoped.
“Xinyue, you are so nice. As the youngest in the family, you’ve done so much and always bear with Yuanyuan. She is just so careless and heartless, sometimes naïve. And I can do nothing about her. You know, your father-in-law has passed away. I don’t have any extravagant wish. As long as you get along well with each other, I’ll be satisfied.” The mother-in-law said with her eyes turning red.
Xinyue comforted her mother-in-law, but no one knew the bitterness in her heart.
Dai Mengmeng, Xinyue’s eldest sister-in-law, who had lived here since she got divorced two years ago, was relatively easy-going; Dai Yuanyuan, Xinyue’s second elder sister-in-law, who lived here almost every day, was heartless and outspoken, much different from Xinyue who was quiet. Dai Yuanyuan’s laziness often annoyed Xinyue, but Xinyue never showed her anger. Xinyue once blamed Dai Yuanyuan for her being lazy, but Dai Yuanyuan didn’t agree and retorted, “I’m doing much better than before.” Then Dai Yuanyuan continued banteringly, “You made me angry just now. You are just my brother’s wife. It’s OK for my brother to blame me, but not you. Watch your words, for they will offend us.” Though Dai Yuanyuan said unintentionally, Xinyue took her words into heart. She thought: Now I see! You are a family, and I am just an outsider to you. OK, fine! I’ll say nothing. I treated you with all of my heart, but you just regard me as an outsider in return. From now on, I will treat you the way you treat me. I won’t blame you for anything, so I won’t offend you.
One day, Qiqi and Mingming broke a piece of Xinyue’s furniture while they were playing on it. Dai Yuanyuan came to Xinyue and said, “Xinyue, that piece of your furniture is a real lemon. Qiqi and Mingming just jumped on it a few times, and it’s broken. What you say?” Xinyue didn’t want to quarrel with her. She held back her anger and simply said, “It doesn’t matter. Just forget it.” But when she saw that piece of brand-new furniture badly broken, she really felt bad. Thinking of Dai Yuanyuan’s unreasonable attitude, she really wanted to argue with her: Obviously, you’re spoiling your children and indulging their every whim. They broke that piece of my furniture but didn’t apologize to me. What’s more, you complained that it was a lemon. You are so unreasonable! The children have broken so many things over the past year since I married your brother, haven’t they? Xinyue was grieved and annoyed. Being pushed to her limit by these trifles, she had intended to argue with them for several times. But she didn’t, for fear of being alienated from the family and being laughed at by others, a result which would be caused once the family conflict broke out. And she thought it would be unbearable. She was struggling ambivalently: She couldn’t bear them anymore, but was afraid to see the consequences of the conflict. She was in a dilemma and had no idea of what to do. Mentally and physically exhausted, Xinyue often shed tears quietly.
When Xinyue was helpless and miserable, she remembered her mom once told her that people could find answers to all difficulties in God’s word. Thinking of this, Xinyue seemed to find hope. She quickly took the book of God’s word out of her wardrobe, opened it and saw God’s words say: “Cruel, brutal mankind! The conniving and intrigue, the jostling with each other, the scramble for reputation and fortune, the mutual slaughter—when will it ever end? God has spoken hundreds of thousands of words, yet no one has come to their senses. They act for the sake of their families, and sons and daughters, for their careers, prospects, status, vanity, and money, for the sake of clothes, for food and the flesh…. How many do not act for the sake of their own interests? How many do not oppress and discriminate against others for the sake of maintaining their own status?” “Born into such a filthy land, man has been severely blighted by society, he has been influenced by feudal ethics, and he has been taught at ‘institutes of higher learning.’ The backward thinking, corrupt morality, mean view on life, despicable philosophy, utterly worthless existence, and depraved lifestyle and customs—all of these things have severely intruded upon man’s heart, and severely undermined and attacked his conscience. As a result, man is ever more distant from God, and ever more opposed to Him. Man’s disposition becomes more vicious by the day”.
Pondering over God’s words, Xinyue understood that all human beings no longer have the likeness of real humans after being corrupted by Satan. Plus, having been blighted and influenced by society, people are all living by Satan’s various poisons and rules so that man’s disposition is selfish and arrogant. Xinyue felt deeply about it especially when she saw God say, “How many do not act for the sake of their own interests? How many do not oppress and discriminate against others for the sake of maintaining their own status?” From these words, she knew the reason why she had lived in such pain. It was because she lived in the condition of scheming against her family. Her being angry each time was actually because they touched her vanity and pride. For example, when she heard Dai Yuanyuan’s words this time, she thought that Dai Yuanyuan didn’t take her hard work for the family seriously but treated her like an outsider. So she was in great pain and didn’t want to talk to Dai Yuanyuan anymore. She stood her sisters-in-law living with her all the year round because she wanted her family and others to praise her and say that she was good and generous. In order to get such good reputation, she lived by Satan’s philosophies “Compromise will make a conflict much easier to resolve” and “Endurance brings peace” in interacting with her family. She believed as long as she was more patient and tolerant and turned a blind eye when matters arose, she could live in harmony with her family, and they would think she was good natured, thus liking her and showing respect to her. However, Dai Yuanyuan didn’t praise her, but scolded her, making her feel terribly wronged. Thinking of these, Xinyue realized that what she did was for the sake of her vanity and reputation and that she was selfish.
Xinyue also remembered that she used to tell what happened between her and her two sisters-in-law to her husband in private and asked him to talk to them for her. She believed doing like this not only saved her face but achieved her purposes. Besides, when she saw Dai Yuanyuan spoiling her children, she knew that Dai Yuanyuan was harming them instead of loving them, but she followed the philosophies, “The less trouble, the better,” “Though you see wrong, it’s best to say little,” “Think before you speak and then talk with reservation,” and “Let things drift if they do not affect one personally.” She thought they were not her children. What they would be like in the future had nothing to do with her. If she talked much, she would offend Dai Yuanyuan who would then think that she disliked the children. It was no good to do such a thankless thing. The more Xinyue recalled, the more narrow-minded and mean she felt she was. She saw that she definitely had no likeness of a human being. Through the revelations of God’s words, Xinyue felt reproached in her conscience. She was no longer willing to live by Satan’s poisons and rules, but was willing to abandon those wrong and harmful philosophies.
Next, Xinyue cried out to God in her heart and asked God to let her know how to get along with her mother-in-law and sisters-in-law. After praying, she saw God’s words say: “If people have no verbal or spiritual communication, there is no possibility of intimacy between them, and they can’t provide to each other or help one another. Do you have such a feeling? If your friend says everything to you, saying all of what they’re thinking in their heart, and what suffering or happiness they have in their heart, then do you not feel particularly intimate with them? That they are willing to tell these things to you is because you have also spoken of the words in your heart to them—you are especially close, and it is because of this that you are able to get along with them and help each other out. … If you wish for others to trust you, first you must be honest. To be honest, you must first lay your heart bare, so that everyone can see it, and all that you are thinking, and can see your true face; you must not pretend or package yourself. Only then will people trust you and consider you honest. This is the most fundamental practice of being honest, and it is a precondition”. Xinyue found the way of practice in God’s words—opening her heart and having heart-to-heart talks in her interactions with others. In order to get along with her family, she should tell the words in her heart to them, speak out what she was thinking, either good or bad, to them, and had heart-to-heart talks with them so that they would open their hearts and there would be no barriers or distance between them. If they all packaged and concealed their hearts rather than laying their hearts bare, they would become more and more distant from and even hate each other.
Pondering over God’s words and thinking over her behaviors, Xinyue saw that it was indeed harmful to live by Satan’s philosophies which not only didn’t benefit her family but put her in pain. For example, in order to protect her image, she asked her husband to talk to her sisters-in-law for her, knowing that her husband was likely to offend his sisters. In fact, her sisters-in-law knew that she was behind the plot even if her husband pretended that it was all his ideas. In this way, she would hate her sisters-in-law more for what they did, and they would disgust her because of her inciting her husband to blame them. If things continued this way, there would be a wall between their hearts, and they would become cautious and feel depressed and miserable in their interactions with each other. Therefore, it was better to be an honest person as God’s words said to speak out her opinions, thoughts, pain and difficulties, and to put conflicts or unpleasant things on the table, lest they suspect, fight, or guard against each other, which made them all distressed. Thinking of these, Xinyue was willing to abandon the harmful Satan’s poisons and philosophies and rules, and to practice according to God’s words.
However, it was easier to say than to do. It was really a challenge for Xinyue who used to care too much about face to reveal to her mother-in-law and sisters-in-law the thoughts in her mind according to God’s words. She had no courage for that. For several times, she hesitated but said nothing. Hence, she prayed to God in her heart and begged God to help her and guide her so that she could know how to do it.
After praying, she opened the book of God’s word and saw God’s words say: “The truth that man needs to possess is found in the word of God, a truth that is the most beneficial and helpful to mankind. It is the tonic and sustenance that your body needs, something that helps man restore his normal humanity, a truth that man should be equipped with. The more you practice God’s word, the more quickly your life will blossom; the more you practice God’s word, the clearer the truth becomes. As you grow in stature, you will see things of the spiritual world more clearly, and you will be more powerful to triumph over Satan”. In God’s words, Xinyue realized again that only God’s words are the truth. If she didn’t practice the truth, she would not gain the truth, live out a normal humanity to truly get along well with her family, or break away from the afflictions of Satan. Living by Satan’s philosophies, she seemed to get on well with her family, yet she was annoyed and distressed inside. It turned out that Satan never brings people the right path, but the evil path. With this in mind, Xinyue made up her mind to be an honest man and no longer to be harmed and deceived by Satan.
The next day, Xinyue prayed to God, hoping that God would help her to practice the truth of being an honest person, never packaging herself, and to open her heart to her family by speaking out to them the real thoughts deep in her mind. After lunch, her mother-in-law and Dai Yuanyuan came into Xinyue’s room. Xinyue realized that this was a chance given by God for her to practice being honest. She got up the nerve to speak out all the thoughts deep in her mind, such as what she had done in order to be praised by the family and others, her suffering behind the endurance on the outside, how God’s words revealed her corruption and how she reflected on herself, and so on. After that, she felt bright in her heart. She had never felt so lightened and relieved before. She knew what she did was right and satisfying God, but she was still worrying that Dai Yuanyuan would not be happy to hear that. To her surprise, Dai Yuanyuan began to apologize, “I thought you had a good nature, so that you wouldn’t mind our inappropriate words and deeds. Hence, we gave free rein to ourselves more and more. Not until you mentioned your feelings did I know that we are all the same. Everyone needs to be understood, forgiven and respected by others. I did have some inappropriate deeds. For example, I knew that you had taken mom to see the doctor for her illness, but I still blamed you. I really shouldn’t have done that. From now on, just let me know if you see I do something inappropriate. I’ll try to correct it.” Her mother-in-law said, “Xinyue, it’s the result achieved by God’s words that you could open your heart and speak to us from your heart. Let’s pursue the truth and change our corrupt disposition together in the future.” Xinyue was delighted to see that she was not disliked but comforted by her mother-in-law and sister-in-law. She felt even closer to her family and that her heart closer to them too. She kept thanking God in her heart. She had experienced that her acting according to God’s words indeed brought herself peace, joy and freedom. It is true that God’s words can change people.
Through this experience, Xinyue tasted the sweetness of practicing God’s words. Since then, she was no longer willing to live by Satan’s poisons and rules. She opened her heart and spoke out her difficulties and incorrect thoughts to communicate with others, and was willing to accept others’ advice and help on her shortcomings.
One day, after getting home, Xinyue found that the room was in a mess: The stools are lying on all sides; the packing bags of snacks are all over the ground; what’s more, the table is punched into holes by Mingming with scissors. Xinyue was very angry, thinking: The boy is too naughty. He must be taught a good lesson. Otherwise, he will perhaps not walk the right path. But, he’s not my child. Just let it go. Then Xinyue was about to turn around and walk upstairs. Suddenly, she realized that she was again following Satan’s philosophies of “Let things drift if they do not affect one personally,” and “Though you see wrong, it’s best to say little.” This was not in accordance with God’s will. So Xinyue went to talk with Dai Yuanyuan and suggested that the child be properly disciplined. Dai Yuanyuan sighed, “I know it is no good spoiling the child. I have beaten and scolded him, but he has not changed at all. I simply don’t know how to educate him.” After knowing Dai Yuanyuan’s helplessness, Xinyue read God’s words for Dai Yuanyuan and talked about God’s will with her. She said, “We should rely on God when we educate our children. We should not use our own ways but practice as God’s words require us. The child will not be convinced if we teach him relying on satanic corrupt disposition.” Then Xinyue shared with Dai Yuanyuan some experiences of the brothers and sisters she knew. Inspired by Xinyue’s talk, Dai Yuanyuan agreed to bring the matter of educating the children before God and practice in accordance with God’s words. Dai Yuanyuan said, “It’s so good to fellowship God’s words together like this. Let’s speak out the words in our hearts in the future, and please fellowship with me like this when I do something wrong.” Hearing Dai Yuanyuan’s words, Xinyue smiled happily.
From then on, when she saw that what Dai Yuanyuan had done didn’t conform to the truth, Xinyue would point it out and help Dai Yuayuan correct it. When Dai Yuanyuan found Xinyue felt bad for something on her mind, she would go to talk with Xinyue and comfort and encourage her. They would seek God’s words to resolve their corrupt disposition. When Xinyue and all her family focused on practicing in accordance with God’s words, they became more and more harmonious. In addition, the two children were not as naughty as before. Xinyue knew these results were all achieved by God’s words.
Whenever Xinyue talks about these experiences, she will give thanks to God for leading and helping her. It was God’s words that helped her discern the evil and specious satanic rules, and that enabled her to cast off the bonds and constraints of Satan. Now she’s no longer worrying about how to get on with others in this family of seven. She’s willing to practice according to God’s words in everything.
