By Liu Li
I was born into a wealthy family. I’m the only daughter in my family, so my parents doted on me and especially favored me, indulging my every whim. From a young age, I had never been wronged and no matter what I did, I couldn’t take any loss. I only cared for my own interests and never considered others. As a result, I became very selfish.
After being married, I came into a big family, living together with my parents-in-law and my brother-in-law. At the beginning, my parents-in-law treated me very well and also took good care of me. But gradually, I found they took better care of my brother-in-law. They always let my husband do the housework all alone. I felt they were biased, so I was always upset. Then, my parents-in-law said to me that my brother-in-law was seriously ill when he was young and he suffered consequences—he couldn’t bend his back, so they gave him more attention.
Later, a neighbor told me that my brother-in-law had done business several times but all failed, and he lost all the money. And all his debts were paid by my parents-in-law. After I heard these words, my heart was quite unsettled. I thought: My parents-in-law could only think of my husband when they need help, but they gave their money to my brother-in-law, never thinking of my husband. I also came to hate my brother-in-law, thinking: As an adult, how could he still ask my parents-in-law to pay his debts after losing money on his businesses. Afterward, when seeing his grinning face, I would become angry, feeling that he was very cunning and just wheedled money out of my parents-in-law. So, once seeing him, I would wear a long face and not show him my kindness.
One day, when I was in the kitchen, I overheard my father-in-law in the next room saying, “It’s hard to do business now. What if you lose money once again? …” Hearing his words, I guessed my brother-in-law must be again asking my parents-in-law for money to do business. I felt very indignant, thinking: He asks my parents-in-law for money again. Doing business needs lots of money and it’s not a small thing! If he can make money, it will be fine. But if he still loses all the money, it will get my family into trouble. I don’t want to suffer any loss again. The more I thought about this, the angrier I became. Then I complained to my husband about his brother and wanted my husband to divide the property in the family. I hadn’t expected that my husband not only didn’t defend me but he said I was unreasonable. Seeing his attitude toward me, I was boiling with rage and quarreled with him, “Am I not considering the benefit of our son and our family? Now you actually think I am wholly to blame. Since you stand on their side, go live with them.” I was so angry that I wanted to divorce my husband, and then I picked up my child and left home. After my parents-in-law learned this, they came to my parents’ house and gave me some money. In addition, they offered to give my son pocket money of 800 yuan every month. Until then, I moved back home.
However, good times didn’t last long. My brother-in-law’s business failed badly once again and lost over 100 thousand yuan. I was full of anger and hatred toward him. I thought: When will he not lose money? Will he lose money again in the future? The family’s money should be divided equally between us. If he goes on like that, will my portion be ruined by him? I am so unlucky to have such a brother-in-law. Because my anger had no place to release, I vented it on my husband. I complained that he was useless and couldn’t wheedle money out of his parents, and that his brother would wheedle all the money. Later, I often had a fight with my husband due to some trivial matters. Over time, there was no common language between us. I began to feel bored with this family and such life, and started pointing fingers at my brother-in-law. I thought all these series of discords, including my pain and troubles, were caused by him. If he hadn’t existed in this family, I would have lived better. … The more I thought about this, the sadder I felt, and I even quarreled with him and argued with my parents-in-law in my dream. Every time I became so angry that I woke up in tears. Living in this environment, I felt depressed and there was no smile on my face. Gradually, I lost sleep and my face broke out in freckles. Compared to my peers, I looked much older. I didn’t dare to go out, feeling so tired and so bitter …
Just when I was in distress and helplessness, God’s kingdom gospel came upon me. One day, I read God’s words saying, “Cruel mankind! The connivance and intrigue, the snatching and grabbing one from another, the scramble for fame and fortune, the mutual slaughter—when will it ever end? Despite the hundreds of thousands of words God has spoken, no one has come to their senses. People act for the sake of their families, sons and daughters, for their careers, future prospects, position, vainglory, and money, for the sake of food, clothing, and the flesh. But is there anyone whose actions are truly for the sake of God? Even among those who act for the sake of God, there are but few who know God. How many people do not act out of their own interests? How many do not oppress or ostracize others in order to protect their own position?” The words in Sermon and Fellowship on Entry Into Life say: “Presently, everybody’s interpersonal relationships are abnormal. The main reason for this is that people have been corrupted by Satan very deeply and their integrity is extremely flawed. Men seek nothing but profit and try to benefit at other people’s expense in everything that they do. They are guided by their own individual intentions and goals in all matters. People live for themselves and for their flesh. They are absolutely not concerned at all about others and they do not even have the loving emotions that they should possess. Men fight and scheme against each other and they do so both openly and covertly. There is no way for mankind to get along with one another in a normal fashion. The conscience and rationality that man should possess has vanished from the face of the earth. There is no spirit of cooperation amongst mankind. Without a little bit of patience, people would be enemies with one another. Man’s heart is filled with evil, conflict, hostility and irreconcilable differences. It’s as if man does not have the image of human being at all. He is completely possessed by Satan and his inner heart is filled with Satan’s philosophy.”
Pondering God’s words and the sermons, I understood: Because I held these satanic philosophies as my rules of living, such as “Everyone for himself and the devil take the hindmost,” “Only taking advantage but never losing out,” and so on, I became selfish and despicable, only considering my interests and never caring for others. Thinking back, when I saw that my parents-in-law always asked my husband to do the household chores, I thought they were partial. Especially when seeing my brother-in-law lose money on business and my parents-in-law paid the debts for him, I felt even more unfair and my eyes fixed on him, fearing that he would waste the money of our family again. For the sake of protecting my interests, I didn’t care about the affection of family and even wished he hadn’t existed. I often complained against my husband and had a fight with him, which led to our family’s discord. Driven by the interests, I lost my conscience, becoming selfish, indifferent, and vicious, and living in depression and pain. I could have put down my intentions and desires and lived a happy life but I was firmly controlled by them as if I had been shackled. Until now, I understood that all of these were caused by my satanic corrupt disposition. It was the root cause that made me live in torment.
Later, I also read this passage of God’s words: “In the dispositions of normal people there is no crookedness or deceitfulness, people have a normal relationship with each other, they do not stand alone, and their lives are neither mediocre nor decadent. So, too, is God exalted among all; His words permeate among man, people live in peace with one another and under the care and protection of God, the earth is filled with harmony, without the interference of Satan, and the glory of God holds the utmost importance among man.” And the words in Sermon and Fellowship on Entry Into Life also say, “In order for people to interact normally with one another, they must possess a few principles of practice. These principles should not only include not taking advantage of others, not harming others, but having some love. They further include having a conscience and rationality, helping one another, showing tolerance to one another, caring for others, letting others benefit in all situations, considering others, not just caring about yourself, showing compassion for others’ weaknesses, and forgiving the transgressions of others. If we have these few principles, we will be able to build a normal relationship with others and we will be able to live in harmony with each other.”
After reading God’s words and this passage of sermons, I understood: Getting along with others doesn’t merely mean not taking advantage of others; the most important thing is to practice according to God’s words, and deal with the interpersonal relationships in accordance with God’s requirements. We should have tolerance and patience with others, enable others to obtain benefits, and also can sympathize with others’ weaknesses. At this moment, I thought my brother-in-law had been in poor health from childhood and he has been suffering from lumbago, so it was normal that my parents-in-law gave him more care. But I always thought they were partial to him and thus gave them a nasty look, making them fall into a dilemma. I also thought that the reason why my husband didn’t stand on my side was that he cared for their brotherhood. Whereas, I didn’t consider my husband’s feelings, and often forced him to do something that he didn’t want to do, using both the carrot and the stick, which led to our constant quarrel and made our family inharmonious. It turned out that these were all my problems. When I saw things from others’ viewpoints, I no longer felt my parents-in-law were partial and that my husband was useless. Instead, I felt I was selfish and despicable, without conscience and sense. I was determined not to live by my selfish and despicable satanic disposition anymore but to practice living out a real human likeness in accordance with God’s demands.
One day, on entering the house, I heard my parents-in-law and my brother-in-law were talking about doing business. I felt unhappy again. I realized that it was my corrupt disposition troubling me within, so I quickly prayed to God in silence, asking Him to keep my heart. Then I thought of God’s words and the sermons, and also thought about the pain of living by the satanic corrupt disposition I had suffered before. I determined that I couldn’t live like that; I should live out the normal humanity according to God’s requirements. So I walked over, sat, and chatted with them. During the talk, I knew that my brother-in-law found out the reason for his failure and recouped some losses. Hearing this, I felt very ashamed. I also knew that my brother-in-law was suffering a lot of pain because of lumbago. Therefore, I began to care about his conditions and seek connections everywhere to cure his sickness.
Hereafter, I frequently read God’s words and fellowship about the truth with brothers and sisters, and no longer cared about whether my brother-in-law took money from my parents-in-law. I’m very happy every day and the smile often hangs on my face. Unknowingly, the freckles on my face disappeared and I slept soundly every night. My mother-in-law and brother-in-law both praised me in front of others: “She really changed a lot after believing in God.” I know that the changes I have attained today are the results of God’s words. It is God’s words that solve my pain and allow me to live out some normal humanity. Thank God! All the glory be to God!
