I was born in a common peasant family in 1970s. Having personally experienced the hardship of country life, I studied with diligence and resolved to walk out of the mountainous region and escape the village life when I grew up. Though my academic record was always good, I failed in the high school entrance examination, which hit me hard and made me extremely distressed. Feeling utterly helpless, I went to the town to work with my relatives. After slaving away more than ten hours a day, all I got was 3 yuan. Without a day off duty, I could only earn 105 yuan a month. When I saw those people working in the office, who didn’t have to do hard work or suffer scold but earned several times as much as I did, I felt the saying, “Those who work with their brains rule and those who work with their brawn are ruled” was so true. At that time, I told myself inwardly: When I have a child in the future, I must send him to university and make him rise above others even if I have to offer all I have.
After I got married and had a child, I started to draw up plans for my child’s study. In order that he could receive a good education, I used my connections to send him into the best local nursery school when he was only 2 years old. When I learned that playing the piano was beneficial to the intellectual development of the child, I scrimped the household to get a famous piano teacher to teach my son. Sometimes when his hands were sore from practicing the piano so that he couldn’t hold the chopsticks when eating, I would feed him mouthful by mouthful. I also enrolled him in an English training class. So, apart from practicing the piano, he also had to listen to English tapes and memorize words every day. And if he couldn’t play the piece well or memorize the words, I would not allow him to sleep. I hardly took him out to play, but if I did, I would take him to the bookstore so as to refine his mind by books. He blubbered many times for the tight schedule made him have no time to play. But I thought: The competition in the society is so fierce; my allowing him too much latitude is actually doing harm to him. In order that he can get ahead in the future, I must harden my heart.
When my son was going to enter the elementary school, I sent him into a key school, which cost me a large sum of money for we were not permanent residents there. I also gave lavish dinners and gifts in order that he could be streamed into a good class. Though the remedial class run by the teachers of the school charged several times as much as other remedial classes did, I still enrolled my child in their classes. For if I didn’t, they would let him sit in the last row or the corner of the classroom and pay no heed to him, which would affect his grade. When my son did well in his study, I would be in a good mood and didn’t feel tired from working. But if his examination score went down, I would be so worried that I had no heart to eat, and then I would spend more time tutoring him. If he didn’t concentrate on study, I would beat or scold him. When he didn’t do well in a subject, I would punish him by making him do the homework three times as much as usual; and if he couldn’t finish it, I wouldn’t allow him to have meal or sleep. Once because he didn’t do well in a test, I beat him hard with anger and then required him to do the test paper all over again. When he finished it with sobs, it was over one in the morning. My mother happened to visit us that day. Seeing her grandson lead such a hard life, she was so distressed and shed tears in secret.
Due to the oppression of me, my child became silent without vigour or vitality, and moreover, he became ever more eccentric and waspish. Once when I was about to teach him a lesson because he did poor in an exam, he instantly grasped the schoolbag and said, “I will never come back to this home.” His grandmother said a lot words to console him so that he didn’t leave. However, he no longer did his homework after that. His teacher called me and asked me to discipline him, otherwise he must transfer to another school. This made me in a terrible fix. In order to educate my child well, I read lot of books relating to education and often discussed parenting skills with others. Although I learned many methods and skills in theory, they didn’t work when applied in reality but instead wore me out.
When I was trapped in helplessness and worries, my mother preached to me God’s work of the last days. And She read two passages of God’s words to me: “The fate of man is controlled by the hands of God. You are incapable of controlling yourself: Despite always rushing and busying about for himself, man remains incapable of controlling himself. If you could know your own prospects, if you could control your own fate, would you still be a creature?” (“Restoring the Normal Life of Man and Taking Him to a Wonderful Destination”). “From the moment you come crying into this world, you begin to perform your duty. You assume your role in the plan of God and in the ordination of God. You begin the journey of life. Whatever your background and whatever the journey ahead of you, none can escape the orchestration and arrangement that Heaven has in store, and none are in control of their destiny, for only He who rules over all things is capable of such work” (“God Is the Source of Man’s Life”). My mother said, “God’s words have explained it very clearly. God controls the fate of everyone. Man’s family, quality, appearance, level of education, future work, poverty or richness, and life-span have all been predestined by God long ago. For example, you always did well in study since you were young but just failed in the high school entrance examination; while others, who didn’t study hard like you and always fell behind you, got good results. You see, our fates are not controlled in our hands. Then how can we control the child’s fate since we can’t even control our own? So stop worrying about Weiwei and just give him to God, letting God rule over him. In this way, you will also live easily. If you make plans and keep busy all day long, would this not simply be suffering hardships?”
Hearing God’s words and my mother’s fellowship, I couldn’t help recalling what I had been through all this way. Since I was young, I had been trying to change my fate with all my might, for which I had paid a lot of price, yet the fact always turned out contrary to my wish. God’s words are so practical. Through a period of investigation, I was certain about God’s work of the last days. Since then, no matter what befell me, I would pray to God and find God’s words to resolve my difficulties. Besides, I often brought my child before God to pray, and let God preside over his fate. Gradually, I wasn’t beset by anxiety for my child’s study anymore.
Later, I was absent from my home for a while and left my child in the care of my mother-in-law. When I returned home, my mother-in-law said, “You should have more control over Weiwei. Now not only his grade went down, but he even dared to lie. He lied that there wasn’t an exam at school, and I learned about this after I called his teacher. Turns out that he didn’t dare to show the test paper to me because he got a bad result.” At her words, I was seized by uncontrolled fury, thinking: I just have loosened my grip on him for a while, and then he got such a bad academic record and even dared to lie. How can such things be tolerated? If this continues, how can he pass into the university? The more I thought, the more anger I felt. So I took up the feather duster and beat him hard. At first he struggled, but later he kept silent and let me beat him as I liked. Then all of a sudden, I saw him blowing heavily with tears on his face, clenching his fists, and staring at me with resentment. At that moment, I got stunned. He asked me coldly, “Why do you want me to listen to you and act according to your requirements in everything?” “That’s because I am your mother,” said I in a peremptory tone. “To whom should you listen but me?” Unexpectedly, he said with anger like making a declaration, “You are not my mother because you’ve never cared for me!” So saying, he turned around and stormed out. I stood rooted to the spot with my head ringing. My son’s words “You are not my mother because you’ve never cared for me” kept lingering in my ears. Since then he never called me mom again, nor did he allow me to pick him up or send him to school, and he just treated me like a stranger. This made me feel unbearable pain, and I could only cry to God over and over again, “O God, please help me. I don’t know what is wrong. I have paid so much price, but my child still doesn’t understand me. How can this be? O God, I feel so sad and have no way to go on. May you enlighten me and guide me to find the way to practice.” After praying in this way for a few days, one day I read the following God’s word: “Maybe you are a president, or a scientist, a pastor, or an elder, but no matter how high your office, if you rely on your knowledge and ability in your undertakings, then you shall always be a failure, and shall always be bereft of the blessings of God, because God accepts nothing that you do, and He does not grant that your career is a righteous one, or accept that you are working for the benefit of mankind. He will say that everything you do, is to use the knowledge and strength of mankind to divest man of the protection of God, and to deny the blessings of God. He will say that you are leading mankind toward darkness, toward death, and toward the start of an existence without limits in which man has lost God and His blessing” (“God Presides Over the Fate of All Mankind”). After reading, I felt that every word of God has authority and majesty and strokes my heart like a hammer. God says that no matter how great one’s abilities or how high his office, if he doesn’t rely on God but rely on his ability to do things, he will only earn the disgust of God and always end up with failure. Although I didn’t have a high position, I still regarded myself as a mother to educate my child, requiring him to listen to me and act according to the goal I set for him. Was that not relying on my own effort to control his fate? Man’s fate is controlled in God’s hands and man can be blessed by God only if he submits to God’s sovereignty. But I always used my own methods to escape God’s sovereignty. Wasn’t I divesting myself of the blessing of God? At that time, I fell into deep thought.
Several days later, I saw a news report: A couple wished to cultivate their daughter into an excellent person in their heart and make her rise above others when she grew up. So they kept educating her strictly according to their own thoughts, and had never cared about her feelings or listened to her inner voice. Living under the oppression of her parents for a long time, the girl felt that she didn’t have any freedom. So she required her parents many times not to control her anymore because she had already grown up and was able to think independently. However, in the eyes of her parents, she would always be a child. They thought only if they educated and looked after her according to their own will, could she have a wonderful future. So they ignored her requests and still controlled everything of her. Finally, one day, exhausted both mentally and physically, the girl left her parents a letter and then committed suicide by jumping off the building. When seeing the scene where her parents held their daughter’s cold body wailing and crying, I couldn’t help bursting into tears, sighing: As the girl has passed away, no matter how sorely her parents regret, what use would it be? This is the bitter fruit caused by their educating and controlling the child in their own way. Haven’t I treated my son in the same way as them? I have never asked him whether he is willing to learn so many things, what his interests and hobbies are, or which way of learning he needs. Instead, I’ve always educated him according to my own methods from his childhood, letting him study hard and learn various skills to make sure he can stand out in the future. I indeed have never cared for him just like what he said. What causes me to do such things? I prayed to God and asked Him to enlighten me and guide me to find the root of this problem. Then I saw God’s words saying: “Born into such a filthy land, man has been severely blighted by society, he has been influenced by feudal ethics, and he has been taught at ‘institutes of higher learning.’ The backward thinking, corrupt morality, mean view on life, despicable philosophy, utterly worthless existence, and depraved lifestyle and customs—all of these things have severely intruded upon man’s heart, and severely undermined and attacked his conscience. As a result, man is ever more distant from God, and ever more opposed to Him” (“To Have an Unchanged Disposition Is to Be in Enmity to God”). God’s words lightened my heart, and I came to understand: China is a country most deeply corrupted by Satan; social infection, feudal thinking, knowledge of ancient culture and other philosophies of Satan all have entered into man’s heart and become the foundation of man’s existence as well as the goals in his life; man lives according to Satan’s laws for living, believing that standing out and being on top is the most meaningful life. So he does whatever it takes to obtain fame, fortune, and status, trying to change his fate through knowledge; as a result, man has lost the normal humanity and the likeness when God created human beings, strayed farther and farther from God, lost God’s care and protection, and at last completely been taken captive and even devoured by Satan. In retrospect, influenced by these backward and mean thoughts, I didn’t reconcile myself to being a workingman but pursued to be a mental worker so as to eat well, dress well and enjoy life since I was young. When my dream was shattered, I reposed all my hope in my son and educated him according to this viewpoint. From the moment he was born, I started to arrange and draw up plans for his life, making his childhood which should have been free become busy and bringing him a lot of pressure. When he didn’t do well in his study or failed to meet my requirements, I would beat and scold him, which did a great harm to his mind. Look at today’s society: So many people are dominated by this viewpoint, wishing to be on top and be those who work with brains. As a result, more and more children frantically learn all kinds of knowledge and skills which are too much for them; many of them committed suicide because they failed to obtain the fame and fortune they pursued or couldn’t bear the heavy burden. Many socialists, psychologists and educators have delivered countless speeches to teach parents how to educate their children, and also advised the parents to respect their children. However, as people all live under Satan’s influence and are bound up by corrupt disposition, unable to free themselves, those man-made methods and scientific theories are just empty doctrines in front of the fact and don’t work at all. At that time, I completely came to myself: Turns out that I have been bound by Satan’s philosophies and feudal thinking for a long time, so even though I have followed God and believes that God presides over the fate of all mankind, I still can’t completely break free from Satan’s snare and still wish my child to stand out and be on top. It is not love for him but pushing him into the abyss of death. At this point I had discernment about Satan’s ugly face and its evil substance, and was resolved to make a clean break with it. Then I saw more of God’s words: “Only God is the truth. God controls the heavens and earth and everything in them and has dominion over all. Not to believe in God, not to submit to God is to be unable to obtain truth. If you live according to God’s word, you will feel a clarity, stability, and incomparable sweetness in the depths of your heart; you will have truly obtained life” (“How to Know Man’s Nature”). Right, God is the truth, and He holds sovereignty over all things and presides over man’s fate; only God’s words can show man the right direction of life and bring light to him; only if mankind worships God can they receive God’s blessings and protection, escape from the bonds and affliction of Satan, and have good prospects and destination. At that point, I said to myself: The only thing I can do now is to apologize to my son for the hurt that I have brought him in all these years, and bring him before God to accept God’s salvation.
That night, after praying to God, I plucked up my heart and opened the door of my son’s bedroom. He turned around and had a glance at me, and then pretended to do his homework. I sat next to him and said sincerely, “Weiwei, could you spare some minutes for me? I want to have a heart-to-heart talk with you. Recently you’ve been cold to me, which makes me feel very sad. At first I hated you, for I thought all I have done is for your good but you never understood me. These days, through praying to God and reading God’s words, I come to realize that my requiring you to learn many things from your childhood is actually trying to arrange and change your fate with my own ability. My viewpoint is wrong for your fate is under God’s sovereignty, and I will never be able to change your fate no matter how doggedly I try. Weiwei, I was wrong. These years, I’ve never truly cared about your feelings but always forced you to do things you didn’t like. You must feel very distressed. I’m willing to correct my mistakes. I promise I’ll give freedom back to you and never compel you henceforth. My only wish is that you can grow up happily. Weiwei, can you forgive me?”
At first, he kept lowering his head. When I finished my sentence, he raised up his head, face stained with tears. Suddenly he threw himself into my arms, crying out loudly, “Mom.” At that moment, I cuddled him with tears coursing down unceasingly, and felt unprecedented relief in my heart.
Since then, I gradually learned to respect my child’s choice, and no longer forced him to study or go to many training classes. Sometimes when he didn’t do well in examinations, rather than lose my temper with him, I could treat it correctly through praying and reading God’s words; once I got time, I would fellowship God’s words and sing hymns with him; when he spoke his mind to me, I would communicate truth with him and guide him according to God’s words; and we became ever closer. Gradually, he became more and more breezy and outgoing, and was no longer self-willed as before. Besides, he could finish his homework on time without being urged, and also had learned how to care for others. When I wasn’t at home, he even would help do some housework in his power. My husband and mother-in-law kept thanking God for our changes, and my whole family lived in the blessings of God’s love.
In a twinkling, my son was about to graduate from elementary school. One day when I went to school to pick him up with a friend, my friend said, “Weiwei is about to graduate. You should give feasts and present gifts as soon as possible to find him a good school. Junior high school is an important period for a child. If he doesn’t have a solid foundation, he will have great difficulty in study after entering high school. I’ve found a school for my son and enrolled him in a study class to let him study junior high school courses in advance, so that he can catch up his lessons.” Hearing my friend’s words, there was a battle in my heart, and I involuntarily wanted to make plan for my son. But then I realized that this was Satan’s scheme, and that it wanted to use fame, fortune and status to afflict me again and make me disobey to God’s sovereignty and arrangement. So I hurriedly prayed to God and relied on Him within silently, and God enlightened me to remember His words: “In the vast world, countless changes have occurred, over and over. None are able to lead and guide this mankind except for He who rules over all things in the universe. There is no mighty one to labor or make preparations for this mankind, much less a person who is able to lead this mankind toward the destination of light and the liberation from earthly injustices” (“God Is the Source of Man’s Life”). From God’s words, I came to understand that only God keeps laboring and making preparations for this mankind, that only God is leading this mankind toward light, and that no matter how man rushes about, it is of no avail. I believe that God has already made all arrangements for my son, so no matter how much I do, it is just a waste of my energy. Thinking of this, I felt extremely grounded. Then I said to my friend calmly, “I’m not going to find him a good school but obey the arrangement. Weiwei said he wanted to have a trip during the vacation and I’ve consent to his request. So he won’t go to any training class.”
My friend looked at me in surprise, saying, “When Weiwei was about to enter the elementary school, you paid high price to send him into a top school, attaching great importance to it. But why are you so calm at this crucial moment?”
I said with emotion, “Before, I thought giving him the best education was most beneficial to his future. However, the fact showed me that this kind of viewpoint put too much pressure on him, making him live in great misery and depression. It even caused the relationship between me and him to fall apart, and brought me endless suffering. Now I come to understand that these things don’t play a decisive role in his future and his life is ruled by God (my friend knew I believed in God). So I decide to respect his choice instead of imposing my thoughts onto him.”
My friend looked at me significantly, saying, “To be honest, I pretty envy you.”
Time passed day by day. Under the guidance of God’s words, my son became more and more sensible and hadn’t been contaminated with any bad habit. My relatives and friends all admired me for having such an obedient and sensible son, and I also felt greatly gratified in my heart. Most of my son’s contemporaries were rebellious, addicted to online games, smoking, drinking and puppy love, and their parents didn’t have any control over them, while my son was so sensible and obedient. It’s really thanks to God’s protection.
When I reviewed the days of my following God, all sorts of feelings welled up in my mind. In the past, when I lived in the bondage of Satan, I racked my brain and exerted my mind to educate my child, which unexpectedly drove him to extremes and nearly ruined his life. Since I had always educated my son in my own way, my relationship with him also became ever more distant, and I got exhausted both physically and mentally. When I was willing to live by God’s words, respect my child’s choice, and submit to God’s sovereignty and arrangements, not only my son became free, but also my whole family had achieved relief and freedom.
