Lost love can cause much suffering for us. However, as long as we accomplish the following 3 things, we’ll be able to come out from the haze of lost love.
1. Recognizing God’s Sovereignty Over People’s Marriages
It says in God’s words, “One encounters many people in one’s life, but no one knows who will become one’s partner in marriage. Though everyone has their own ideas and personal stances on the subject of marriage, no one can foresee who will truly, finally become their other half, and one’s own ideas on the matter count for little. After meeting someone you like, you can pursue that person; but whether they are interested in you, whether they are able to become your partner—that is not yours to decide. The object of your affections is not necessarily the person with whom you will be able to share your life; and meanwhile, someone you never expected may quietly enter your life and become your partner, the most important element in your fate, your other half, to whom your fate is inextricably bound. And so, though there are millions of marriages in the world, each and every one is different: So many marriages are unsatisfactory, so many are happy; so many span East and West, so many North and South; so many are perfect matches, so many are of equal social rank; so many are happy and harmonious, so many painful and sorrowful; so many arouse the envy of others, so many are misunderstood and frowned upon; so many are full of joy, so many are awash with tears and bring despair…. In these myriad types of marriage, humans reveal loyalty and lifelong commitment toward marriage; they reveal love, attachment, and inseparability, or resignation and incomprehension. Some betray their marriage, or even feel hatred toward it. Whether marriage itself brings happiness or pain, everyone’s mission in marriage is predestined by the Creator and will not change; this mission is something that everyone must complete. The fate of each person that lies behind every marriage is unchanging, determined long in advance by the Creator.”
From this it can be seen that you have sunk into the pain of lost love because you don’t recognize God’s sovereignty. Everyone’s marriage is in God’s hands, and whom we can actually spend our life with is not chosen by us. Looking at those around us, two unrelated people unknowingly come together, while those who, we think, are going to be happily together until old age, finally separate. When some couples just get married, their life feels sweet, but after several years, they begin quarreling and giving one another the cold shoulder, and even end up getting divorced. There are some remarried couples who take care of and understand each other and in the end grow old together. All these facts prove that everyone’s marriage is under God’s sovereignty and predestination and has been arranged by God. If we recognize this, then when facing lost love, we’ll see clearly that the person who we think will be our partner is just a passer-by in our life and isn’t the partner God has prepared for us. Then we will be able to entrust our marriage to God and obey God’s sovereignty, and won’t feel so much pain.
2. Seeing Through Satan’s Schemes
God says, “For example, if you were watching a television show, what sort of things in it could change people’s view? Would what the performers said, the words themselves, be able to corrupt people? (No.) What sort of things would corrupt people? It would be the core thoughts and content of the show, which would represent the director’s views. The information carried in these views could sway people’s hearts and minds. Is that not so?” “One after another, such trends cause people, who are not of sound body and mind, do not know what the truth is, and cannot differentiate between positive and negative things, to happily accept them as well as the life views and values that come from Satan. They accept what Satan tells them about how to approach life and the way to live that Satan ‘bestows’ on them, and they have neither the strength nor the ability, much less the awareness, to resist.”
From God’s words, we can see that our suffering over lost love is mainly because we have accepted the mistaken ideas instilled by Satan. Satan uses all sorts of romantic movies and soap operas to inculcate us with thoughts such as: “Love is supreme,” “The lovers finally get married,” “What on earth is love that makes lovers vow to stick together in life and death?” As a result, many people imagine love to be especially beautiful, and when they meet someone they like, they try to pursue that person disregarding all other things and are willing to expend their all to get her or him. After losing their relationship, they can’t withstand the blow. So, some begin to wallow in degeneracy and use smoking, drinking, playing mahjong, playing games and other ways to numb themselves; some whose love turns to hatred, kill their lover, thus ensuing a tragedy; and others choose suicide to put an end to their pain and torment. In fact, the love stories in movies and soap operas are all just fictions and our ideal love doesn’t exist at all. That’s because, after being corrupted by Satan, we all become really arrogant, conceited, selfish, despicable, and self-interested, and even if a couple have the same personalities and interests, conflict and misunderstandings frequently arise between them, and once one of them impacts the other’s interests, they can complain about each other and become enemies. All this shows us that all these ideas and views that romantic dramas instill in us are wrong and that they are the tools which Satan uses to corrupt and fool us. Only by seeing through Satan’s schemes will we not live in the pain of lost love.
3. Changing Our Mistaken Views and Obeying God’s Sovereignty
God’s words say, “When you repeatedly investigate and carefully dissect the various goals that people pursue in life and their myriad ways of living, you will find not one of them conforms to the Creator’s original intention with which He created humanity. All of them draw people away from the Creator’s sovereignty and care; they are all traps which cause people to become depraved, and which lead them to hell. After you recognize this, your task is to lay aside your old view of life, stay far from various traps, let God take charge of your life and make arrangements for you; it is to try only to submit to God’s orchestrations and guidance, to live without individual choice, and to become a person who worships God.”
God’s words give us a path of practice. If we want to escape the pain of lost love, we should summarize our previous mistaken perspectives about love and see clearly that they are a trap laid for us by Satan, and that they can’t bring us true happiness but instead make us live without dignity or life goals. Now that we have known God’s sovereignty over our marriage, we should bring the matter of our marriage before God to seek His will and let Him be our Master. I believe that when you sincerely rely on God and are willing to obey His sovereignty and arrangements, you’ll be able to gradually come out from the haze of lost love.
