By Xinxin, China
My Husband Suddenly Gets Sick and His Life Hangs by a Thread
“My husband suddenly developed ascites caused by cirrhosis of the liver, he kept vomiting, and his life was hanging by a thread. When I felt helpless, God’s words enlightened me and guided me again and again, and they gave me the faith to get through this situation….” As I typed out my experience on the keyboard, I recalled every scene of the work God had performed on me. As I recalled the whole episode, I couldn’t help my mind returning to the events of a year ago …
On the morning of January 20, 2017, I was just making breakfast in the kitchen, when my husband suddenly appeared in the kitchen doorway with an unhealthy complexion and a pained expression on his face, and he said, “My stomach feels really bad, and I just vomited a small amount of blood up in the garden.” I was dumbstruck for a moment and, before I could respond, he vomited blood again and immediately fell to the floor. Shocked, I ran over to him to support him, but he had already fainted and was lying unconscious. Seeing my husband with such a waxy yellow complexion and purple lips, my heart leapt into my throat, and I was terrified that he would die and leave me. There was no time for thinking, so I hurriedly called the emergency number. Just as I was on the phone, my husband vomited a lot of blood up twice in succession, and then fainted again. Seeing my husband unconscious, I was so frightened that my mind went totally blank and I stared unseeingly at him. Fear and worry flooded my heart, and I thought: “My husband has vomited blood three times in less than 30 minutes, and each time he vomits, he falls unconscious. How long can he last if things carry on this way? Is it possible that he will die? What will I do if he doesn’t pull through?” Seeing my husband lying in a pool of blood, I felt panicked. Just then, I thought of God: “Yes! God is the Sovereign of all things, and He is our greatest support.” I then called out to God: “O God! Please save my husband. Only You can save his life. O God! I feel so fearful right now. Please protect my heart and help me to calm down. I wish to entrust my husband into Your hands and rely on You to overcome this hurdle!” After I’d prayed, I felt a little calmer, and my husband gradually regained consciousness. About 10 minutes passed and the ambulance still hadn’t arrived, and I began to get anxious again, and I worried that, if my husband didn’t receive timely treatment, then he could die. So I called out to God again: “O God! The time the ambulance will arrive is in Your hands. Please give me faith and strength, be my strong backup and enable my heart to be quiet before You at all times. I wish to submit to Your orchestrations and arrangements, and to experience Your work.” After praying, I thought of these words of God: “God’s word is potent medicine! Put to shame the devils and Satan! If we grasp God’s word we will have support and His word will quickly save our hearts! It dispels all things and sets all in peace. Faith is like a single log bridge, those who cling abjectly to life will have difficulty in crossing it, but those who are ready to sacrifice themselves can pass over without worry. If man has timid and fearful thoughts, they are being fooled by Satan. It fears that we will cross the bridge of faith to enter into God” (“Chapter 6” of Utterances of Christ in the Beginning). The enlightenment of God’s words immediately gave me a support, and I felt much calmer. I understood that all things are held in God’s hands, and whether my husband lived or died was also orchestrated by God’s hands. Without His consent, my husband’s life would not be taken no matter how serious his illness. At that moment, what God wanted from me was to have the faith to face this situation. And yet Satan was always attacking me when I was at my weakest, doing all it could to put ideas in my head and to make me live fearfully and timidly. I could not fall into Satan’s cunning schemes, but instead should have faith in God, entrust my husband’s life into God’s hands and submit to God’s sovereignty and orchestrations. That way, Satan would have no chance to get to me. Thanks be to God, for His words expelled my timidity and fear, and they enabled me to have faith in God and to be willing to lean on God and experience His work with faith.
When My Husband Is Critically Ill, and We Are Told to Transfer to Another Hospital, God’s Words Give Me Strength
After about 20 minutes, the ambulance finally arrived and sped us to the hospital. Once we got there, my husband was taken into the emergency room. After he was given some treatment, the doctor called me into his office and, with a grave look on his face, he said to me, “Your husband has developed severe ascites caused by cirrhosis of the liver. Because he has lost a lot of blood, his blood pressure is currently very low, only 50 over 40, and he could pass away at any moment. What’s more, your husband’s blood type is very rare and it’s hard to find matching blood to give him an infusion. We cannot guarantee that we can save him, so we recommend that you transfer to another hospital to have a better chance.” Hearing the doctor say this, my heart immediately grew fearful again, and I thought: “How could my husband’s illness be so serious? Can it really be that so many doctors can do nothing to help him? If my husband vomits blood again and his situation deteriorates while we’re transferring to another hospital, what will we do then? But if we don’t transfer the hospital, there’s a chance he could die….” I couldn’t dare to think more and just continuously called to God silently. After the prayer, these words of God popped into my mind, “Everything that is alive, everything that has life is under the dominion of God. It was given life after God created it; it is life given from God…” (“God Himself, the Unique VII”). Yes, God is the Lord of all creation. God orchestrates and arranges all things, whether living or not living, and even more so is God the sovereign Ruler of the life and death of man. If my husband’s time had not yet come, then he wouldn’t die no matter how much danger he was in; neither transferring to another hospital nor the doctor’s words were able to determine whether my husband lived or died. When I thought of this, I knew what I had to do, and so I silently prayed to God: “O God! When I have nowhere to turn, Your words show me the way and allow me to understand that You rule and arrange the trajectory of our lives, and that no one can change it. If You do not allow my husband to die, then he won’t die even if we don’t transfer to another hospital. I believe in Your sovereignty and I wish to place my husband into Your hands and experience Your wonderful work.” With God’s words as my foundation, my heart felt very calm, and I told the doctor that my husband would stay and receive treatment.
In My Pain and Helplessness, God’s Words Are My Support
Afterward, I went into the emergency room and saw six or seven doctors and nurses surrounding my husband trying to insert an IV, but they couldn’t find a vein. After trying again and again, they finally managed to get the IV in, and they hung up the bottle of fluid. I saw that my husband’s face was so swollen that he couldn’t open his eyes. His legs were also so swollen that they didn’t look like legs anymore. I called him softly. Hearing my voice, his lips moved as though he wanted to speak, but he couldn’t say anything. Seeing him at death’s door, I thought of what the doctor had said to me just now and I felt extremely grieved, and my faith in God got weaker and weaker. I thought to myself: “Could it be that my husband really will leave me? What will I do if he dies? Who will support our family? I pray and lean on God, so why doesn’t God protect him?” When I thought of that, I suddenly realized that my state was wrong, and I hurriedly prayed to God: “O God! This situation that has befallen today has exposed my stature as really too small. Although I know that whether my husband’s illness gets better or not is ruled in Your hands and that I ought to submit to Your orchestrations and arrangements, but when I see my husband like this, my faith in You disappears, so much so that I begin to blame You. O God! I ask You to guide me, give me faith and strength, make me not blame You, and allow me to understand Your will in this situation….”
Once my brothers and sisters in the church heard about my husband’s situation, they came one by one to see us. They gave me comfort and encouragement, they fellowshiped with me about the testimony of Job, and they led me to understand God’s will. Brothers and sisters showed me this passage from God’s words, “Job did not talk of trades with God, and made no requests or demands of God. His praising of God’s name was because of the great power and authority of God in ruling all things, and was not dependent on whether he gained blessings or was struck by disaster. He believed that regardless of whether God blesses people or brings disaster upon them, God’s power and authority will not change, and thus, regardless of a person’s circumstances, God’s name should be praised. That man is blessed by God is because of God’s sovereignty, and when disaster befalls man, so, too, is it because of God’s sovereignty. God’s power and authority rule over and arrange everything of man; the vagaries of man’s fortune are the manifestation of God’s power and authority, and regardless of one’s viewpoint, God’s name should be praised. This is what Job experienced and came to know during the years of his life. All of Job’s thoughts and actions reached the ears of God, and arrived before God, and were seen as important by God. God cherished this knowledge of Job, and treasured Job for having such a heart. This heart awaited God’s command always, and in all places, and no matter what the time or place it welcomed whatever befell him” (“God’s Work, God’s Disposition, and God Himself II”). Through God’s words and fellowship from my brothers and sisters, I understood that the reason why I’d lost my faith in God in this situation was because, although I’d said I believed in God’s sovereignty and wished to submit to God’s orchestrations and arrangements, yet I made demands of God in my heart, hoping that God would heal my husband. But after I’d prayed to God many times and my husband’s condition still had not gotten any better, I lost faith in God and began to complain. At the same time, I came to realize that my understanding of God’s almightiness and sovereignty was too shallow. When Job was attacked and tempted by Satan, his flocks and herds all over the hills and his vast wealth were carried off by the robbers, he lost his sons and daughters, and he himself developed terrible boils all over his body. Job uttered no complaints against God, but instead he bent over and praised the name of God. He said these words, “Jehovah gave, and Jehovah has taken away; blessed be the name of Jehovah” (Job 1:21). The reason why Job had such great faith was because he had true knowledge of God’s sovereignty and he knew that everything he possessed since being born naked from his mother’s womb was bestowed on him by God. Whether God gave, or God took away, Job always accepted and obeyed God’s sovereignty; he knew that God was the Creator and that mankind were created beings, that man should take their proper place as created beings and obey the Creator unconditionally, and not make unreasonable demands of God or make bargains with God. Therefore, Job was able to take a rational approach to God’s work and submit to God’s sovereignty and arrangements. He did not deny the fact of God’s rule over the fate of mankind because disaster befell him, and he did not blame God either. Job had true reverence, obedience and faith in God, and he therefore used real actions to shame Satan and he stood firm in his testimony to God. After I’d understood God’s will, I realized that, if I wanted to be like Job and have true faith in God in this situation that had befallen and not complain about it, then I must gain true knowledge of God’s almightiness and sovereignty. At the same time, I must also let go of my own intentions and impurities, never again use reasoning with God or lay conditions on Him, but instead truly obey God’s sovereignty from the bottom of my heart.
Later, I consciously sought out the aspect of truth concerning God’s almightiness and sovereignty. One day, my husband and I were left alone in the ward. I opened up my tablet and read God’s words, “God has the authority to have a person die, to have his soul leave his body and return to Hades, or wherever it should go. When someone dies, and where they go after death—these are determined by God. He can do this anytime and anywhere. He is not constrained by humans, events, objects, space, or place. If He wants to do it He can do it, because all things and living beings are under His rule, and all things live and die by His word, His authority. He can resurrect a dead man—this is also something He can do anytime, anywhere. This is the authority that only the Creator possesses” (“God’s Work, God’s Disposition, and God Himself III”). From God’s words, I obtained some understanding of God’s authority. God holds sovereignty over all things, and even more so He rules the life and death of man. Take Lazarus in the Bible, for example. He was dead for four days and his corpse had begun to smell. People thought there could not possibly be any hope that he would ever return to life, but with one word from the Lord Jesus, Lazarus came alive again. From this event, when God brought Lazarus back to life, I saw that the key to Hades was also in God’s hands, and that only God rules the lives and deaths of mankind. Thinking of this, I understood that whether my husband lived or died was also in God’s hands. God arranged for my husband to come into this world, and so he must certainly have had a mission that he must complete. If he had completed his mission in this life, then God would arrange for him to go on to another place—this was something no one could prevent. If my husband’s mission was not yet complete, however, then God would not allow him to die so long as he had one breath left in his body. No matter what God arranges, His good will is behind it all, I thought. I should learn how to be patient and how to obey, and wait for God’s will to reveal itself to me.
Afterward, I thought of the Canaanite woman’s sense of reason and her faith in God: She understood that God is the Creator and that we humans are just created beings. She understood that, no matter how God treats us, God’s identity and position can never be changed, and we humans should obey the Creator unconditionally. Therefore, when she asked the Lord to heal her daughter, no matter whether the Lord Jesus regarded her as a human or as a dog, and no matter what the Lord Jesus’ attitude was toward her, she still treated the Lord Jesus as God, she kept her faith in the Lord and made no unreasonable demands of Him. The Lord Jesus saw the Canaanite woman’s faith and sense of reason, and in the end, He answered her prayers. I wished to emulate that Canaanite woman and say reasonable prayers before God. If God healed my husband then I would be thankful to God and would praise Him; but if God did not heal my husband, I would still thank Him and praise Him, and I would continue to believe earnestly in God and pursue the truth.
I then prayed to God, and said, “O God! Whether my husband lives or dies, I will not blame You. I wish to submit to Your orchestrations and arrangements and stand witness for You.” Without me knowing it, the obedience to God in my heart grew and my spirit felt much more at ease. I was also able to quieten my heart and seek God’s will and obey God’s sovereignty. Afterward, my brothers and sisters saw that I was struggling to look after my husband, and so they came often to help me, and I felt God’s true love for me. Since my husband got sick, not one friend or relative had come to see us. Only God was always beside me, giving me faith and being my support, guiding me one step at a time. Now He was arranging my brothers and sisters to come and help and support me, to fellowship about the truth with me so that I could understand God’s will in the people, events and things I encountered, and to help me look after my husband in practical ways, thus lightening my burden. This was all God’s love for me, and my heart was filled with gratitude toward God.
Miraculously Saved: My Seriously Ill Husband Is Out of the Woods
When I became willing to truly submit to God’s orchestrations and arrangements and to no longer make unreasonable demands of God, against all expectations my husband got safely through the danger. When he awoke, not only did he speak in a very weak voice, but his blood pressure rose to 60 over 90. I fully feel the meaning of God’s words, “God is life, so He is the source of all living beings. Furthermore, the authority of God can make all living beings obey every word of God, that is, come into being according to the words from God’s mouth, and live and reproduce by God’s command…” (“God Himself, the Unique I”). All things operate under God’s sovereignty, predestination, orchestrations and arrangements, and no person and nothing can go beyond the scope of His sovereignty. This is the power of God; only the Creator is the source of all life, and only the Creator possesses this kind of authority and power, and they are eternally unchanging. This alarming period of my husband’s illness made me see that God controls the life and death of man, and that the authority and power of God’s words are things which no one and nothing can ever exceed.
Over the days that followed, I often quietened my heart before God and contemplated His words, and I kept praying to be closer to God. I saw other patients continually groaning and tossing from side to side because of their illnesses, and occasionally crying out, which made my hair stand on end. And yet my husband lay quietly under God’s protection and he slipped into a peaceful sleep, and I wept tears of gratitude. During this time, I genuinely experienced God’s meticulous love and care: When I prayed to God in dire straits and in my pain and weakness, it was God’s authoritative words that led me step by step through the chasm of pain; when I felt alone and helpless, God arranged my brothers and sisters from the church to come see me, to fellowship about the truth with me, to enable me to understand God’s will and to help me look after my husband; when I prayed to God with demands, God led me to understand what a reasonable prayer was and what true faith and obedience were, He enabled me to give up the extravagant desires I held within me, and to learn to be patient with and obey God’s work. From this, I saw that God’s love not only gives us peace and blessings of the flesh, but even more so He guides and helps us in adversity to understand the truth and practice the truth. He removes the wrong intentions and impurities within us, and He makes us able to take our proper place as created beings and worship the Creator, recover the conscience and reason we should possess, and He enables us to have faith in Him, and obey and revere Him. This is a wealth more precious than material blessings, and I give thanks to God!
A week later, the doctor saw that my husband could eat again, and he said in amazement: “I never would have thought that you’d make such a good recovery! When you first came into the hospital, you’d vomited so much blood and your blood pressure had fallen to 40 or 50, and we couldn’t find any veins to insert the IV. It’s amazing that you’re still alive today—it really is a miracle! It’s incredible! You really have had a narrow escape!” When I heard this, I sincerely offered up thanks and praise to God! I knew this was all the wonderful deeds of God.
Over a fortnight later, my husband was discharged from the hospital. His health recovered very quickly, and soon he was back working as hard as ever to earn money to live. During this experience, I truly experienced God’s love and I came to understand that God alone is man’s salvation, and that only God’s words can be a help to us at need and can give us the faith to overcome all obstacles. I give thanks to God that this experience has increased my faith to follow God, and I am resolved to follow God till the end!
