By Tingting
Due to the need of the work, my two former partners were transferred to other departments, so I was left to deal with paperwork alone. At the time when I was feeling quite stressed, my manager arranged two new staffers, Wangyun and Liuzhen, as my partners, and told me, “Tingting, try your best to guide and help them.” I replied gladly, “Ok, reassure yourself! I will let them be familiar with the business as soon as possible. Just wait to see the result!” After the manager left, I felt elated and thought: As long as I use some diligence to train them till they are familiar with business, our department’s performance will improve straight naturally and the manager will appreciate my work ability. Thinking of these, I couldn’t help being secretly pleased.
In order to win the admiration of my manager and let her find and appreciate my work ability, I spared no pains to make peace with my new colleagues, to lead them to know and be familiar with business. After several days of associating with them, I found that since my partner Liuzhen had done this kind of work before, soon she had a good grasp on the business and threw herself into the work. I was gratified to see that. While Wangyun had never engaged with this work before and her progress seemed a little slow. But because she did work in earnest, I believed that it wouldn’t take long before she could take on the work independently. Briefly speaking, we three cooperated with each other very happily and I felt that we would have a bright prospect.
A few days later, I thought that both of them should have a grasp of the business, so, in order to quickly improve the work efficiency of our department to realize my own desire of being praised by the manager, I put forward the proposal that the work be distributed among the three of us, each taking charge of the documents of several workshops. My new partners agreed immediately and then we plunged into our own work respectively. In the beginning, considering that Wangyun had not been familiar with business yet, I would offer to guide and help her every day as long as I finished my work. But as the days passed by, Wangyun was still not able to finish her work. Gradually, I began to lose my patience and despise her, thinking in my heart: I have already taken “warrior’s oaths” before the manager. If you continue working with such efficiency, our work will pile up. Then how will our performance not plummet? When the time comes, the manager will surely scold us, and she may say that I am incapable of teaching you guys well. If so, what will she think of me? How will I be able to face others? Thinking of these, I anxiously urged her to do the job quickly. She did not say anything but continued doing the work hard and earnestly.
One afternoon, after I had done my work at hand, I asked Wangyun: “How is your work going on?” With full confidence, she showed me her paperwork. I read it carefully and thoroughly, and then was quite confused. I thought: What’s wrong with you? We came up with so many ideas, but why is your paperwork so simple? It doesn’t meet the required standards at all! It seems that I have taught you several days for nothing. If the manager sees your work, she must come down on me…. At that time, I was full of anger, and said gruffly without thinking, “Is this your work? Can this be handed in?! Before you did it, I had told you the standards of how to deal with this kind of paperwork, but why …” After she heard my reproaches, she took back the paperwork embarrassedly, and said timidly, “If it is not respectable, I will redo it.” Only when I saw her face was full of awkwardness and anxiety did I realize that I had lost my temper. I thought: I am a Christian. The Lord teaches us to be tolerant and patient. But how come I flared up in anger again? How come I spoke in such a tone to scold my partner? She is a little slow, true, but I really overdid it. If I keep doing like this, how can we get along with each other in the future? Alas, despising my partners, thinking them stupid, and raging at them—this is what I did when faced with similar circumstances in the past. I had ever prayed to the Lord for this matter, but why haven’t I got any change yet?
In the evening, I came before the Lord to pray and seek. Afterward, I saw God’s words say, “Corrupt people without any status will also frequently lose control. Their anger is frequently caused by damage to their individual benefits. In order to protect their own status and dignity, corrupt mankind will frequently vent their emotions and reveal their arrogant nature. … Regardless of whether one becomes angry in the sight of others or behind their backs, everyone has a different intention and purpose. Perhaps they are building up their prestige, or maybe they are defending their own interests, maintaining their image or keeping face. Some exercise restraint in their anger, while others are more rash and flare up with rage whenever they wish without the least bit of restraint. In short, man’s anger derives from his corrupt disposition. No matter what its purpose, it is of the flesh and of nature.” The revelation in God’s word made me understand my becoming angry was not just a kind of outward bad behavior. It was directed by my mistaken intentions and satanic corrupt disposition. If these things within me were not solved, then my outward behavior absolutely could not be changed. I reflected on myself: When I saw that my new partner’s paperwork was not good, why did I rage at her? Was I really for the sake of our work or because I wanted her to live up to my expectations? Did I not actually do this for the purpose of protecting my own face and interests? I had intended to utilize this chance to show myself off to gain the manager’s appreciation, and be glorified. But I never thought that, my new partner didn’t strive hard enough, and thus destroyed my plans. It then worried me that if our work performance couldn’t be improved, I would be criticized or looked down upon by the manager. So when I saw that my partner’s paperwork did not reach the required standards, I exposed my naturalness and raged at her. In this way, I wanted her to improve her professional skill as soon as possible, so that I could create a good image in my manager’s heart and defend my face. Indeed, included in it—that I demeaned my partner, belittled her, and even hurt her dignity in quest of my own benefit—were really my unspeakable intentions and purposes. God’s words reveal something essential in my deep soul, to let me see my conceit and arrogance, selfishness and baseness, and that such dispositions are loathed by God and disgusted by people. God really examines the innermost hearts of people and penetrates all things! God is righteous and holy, so He loathes my living by those satanic dispositions that are filthy and ugly. God arranged such people, matters, and things as were not what I wanted, was it not exactly for revealing and purifying me? I should rebel against my mistaken intentions, and can’t be such a base person any longer. But in the future what should I do to solve the problem of my losing temper on impulse?
In the words of God, I found the way to practice. God’s words say: “Then God watches them, waits for them and gives them the time and the opportunities to allow them to enter. It is not that God knocks them down with one stroke or beats them the moment they make a mistake. God has never treated people like this. This being said, if people treat each other like this, isn’t it their corrupt disposition? It is their corrupt disposition.” “When you do and handle things, or have some thoughts while encountering things, do not rely on your own intentions or your hot blood. Pray to God and come before Him. This, first of all, is a submissive attitude; it is the first psychological quality you should possess.” “You must be able to submit to all the environments God sets out for you and all the people, things, and matters that He arranges for you. You must often pray, live with fear before God, and scrupulously do what you ought to do; you must scrupulously live before God, and often be at peace before God, and not be indulgent or dissolute. At the very least, when something happens to you, your first reaction should be to calm down. And what do you calm down in order to do? (Pray and seek.) When you’ve calmed yourself, hurry up and pray! Pray, wait, seek, and attain an understanding of God’s will.” Seeing these words of God, I felt deeply regretful. “God does not feel loathing for us humans who have been corrupted by Satan. We have disobeyed and resisted Him time and time again, but God doesn’t condemn us but still gives us opportunities to repent. He arranges many different people, matters, and things to rouse our hearts, to let us come before God to see clearly the truth that we have been corrupted by Satan. So that we can have opportunities to cast off our corrupt disposition and live out the likeness of a real man according to God’s word. God uses His true love to treat us, but I, a corrupt person, for the sake of maintaining my image in the manager’s heart, never gave my partner enough time and opportunity to improve. After I had taught her several times, but her work was still not good, my patience and love disappeared. Instead, I jumped to the conclusion in my heart that she was too stupid, so I raged at her and looked down upon her. I see that having been deeply corrupted by Satan, I have too high and too stringent an expectation of others.” After seeing God’s word, I also had the way to practice: The attitude and way in which God treats us is what I should have in my treatment of others. Thanks be to God! I thought to myself: If I meet something contrary to my will again in the future, I must quiet my heart before God, pray to Him and rely on Him more. Instead of living by Satan’s corrupt disposition, I am willing to practice according to God’s words and live out the likeness of a true man. God’s word is the way, the life, and the truth! With the guidance of God’s word, I suddenly felt enlightened inside my heart. Thanks be to God!
The next day, before going to work, I made a prayer to God. Arriving at the office, I went up to Wangyun and talked to her about the corruption I had revealed the day before, and made an apology for the harm I brought to her. After a heart-to-heart talk, I felt relaxed and free. I knew this was the result achieved by God’s words. A while later, she gave me her reworked paperwork. I took and read it, and then felt quite ashamed, because it could be seen that she really did it with her heart and her improvement on the work was really beyond my expectation. Thinking that yesterday I was concluding that she was too stupid to make any improvement, but not until today did I see that it was because I had no patience and gave her no time, I told myself: Never have such urges from now on.
Having had this experience and lesson, in the following days, as long as I saw that she had difficulties, I would spend more time helping her patiently. In the work, we got along with each other more and more harmoniously. Once, we needed to deal with a new kind of paperwork. Wangyun felt that it was quite difficult for her. In the beginning, I taught her repeatedly, and after several times of communication, she did not say anything more. So, I let her finish the work on her own as soon as possible. But I never expected that, when the time to hand in the paperwork arrived, she had not finished it yet. At that time, I was very angry, and my corrupted disposition was growing in my heart once more. I thought: Why didn’t you tell me about it earlier that you had no idea how to do it? Now we are about to hand it in, and you haven’t finished it. If the leader knows this, how am I going to answer to her? According to your professional level, it will be really strange if we are not to be scolded this time. … At this point, I had lots of angry words in my heart. As I was about to open my mouth to blurt them out, I suddenly thought of God’s words: “Do not rely on your own intentions or your hot blood. Pray to God and come before Him.” “Do not say things that do not contribute to other people, do not do shameful things. Be just and honorable when doing all things and make them presentable before God.” God’s words reminded me in time: It appears to be interactions between people externally, but behind the scenes there is a fight waged in the spiritual world. So I shouldn’t flare up into rage for the sake of defending my face and interests as before, or treat her depending on my hot blood; I should discipline myself. Then I came before God to pray: “O God! In order to protect my own face and avoid being criticized by the leader, I want to lose my temper with my partner again. God! I am so corrupted that even though I know it is wrong to do so, I am still enticed by Satan’s corrupt disposition and want to rage in spite of myself. Please keep my heart quiet before You. I am willing to live by Your word to help my partner with a loving heart. May You lead me!” After praying, gradually I calmed down and my anger disappeared. Then I sought out all of the materials about the paperwork, and calmly communicated with my partner Wang Yun in detail. Gradually, she understood them, and soon after, she accomplished the work. Though it was still not very ideal, she had already tried her best, as could be seen. Then we three replenished and perfected it together. In the end, we handed in the qualified paperwork on time. With this result to show, we all smiled happily.
Through this experience of cooperation with my new partners, I tasted the sweetness of being a person and doing things according to God’s words. From God’s words I also found out the secret of getting along well with new partners: First, we should not treat our partners by our corrupt dispositions. We should give them time and chance rather than judge them too early. We should be loving and tolerant toward them, understand and help them. Second, when we face with things that involve our interests and we want to protect ourselves or express our dissatisfaction, we should come before God and pray to Him, to ask Him to protect our heart, so that we can forsake our mistaken intentions and desires. Only then can we free ourselves from Satan’s control, to always live before God, and to establish a normal relationship with others.
Thank God for His leading! With the guidance of God’s words, no longer do I have difficulty in getting along with others at work.
